theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
we're so committed to being not committed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
