I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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