I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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