I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
