And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
