i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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