I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
