i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
