Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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