I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
