i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
