i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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