matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
oh god the rape fog is back!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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