im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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