please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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