Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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