I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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