I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
