So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
