Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize