our cab driver is having phone sex.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
