Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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