is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
