I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
thus making me awesome and them whores
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
