he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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