Banned from zoo.
Again?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
false alarm, still single
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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