and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
