I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
