10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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