so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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