How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
