Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
