she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
