Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
