You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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