U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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