Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
