Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize