Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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