i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
