Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
