If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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