Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
