i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
