yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
