Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
