we're blogging at a bar
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I love you.
Bad choice
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
