Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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