Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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