DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
