i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
